While we are still a few months away from action on the field, the prep behind the scenes in the clubhouses and around the NPIFL HQ is heating up. Votes have been tallied, decisions agreed, and the great wheel of the system is creaking into motion.

After months to reflect on the 2025 campaign, which saw a never-say-die attitude franchise rise up and defeat all comers to win the Super Bowl in a cinema-worthy fairy tale of triumph and adversity, Commissioner Tom Lloyd gathered the league’s owners and managers for a preseason meeting.

Andrasta beat writer John Maxwell was honored to be present and reports Lloyd’s welcoming speech verbatim:

“Brothers… gather round now…
The air’s gettin’ cooler. The Lord’s day is nearly upon us. And somewhere out there, a man with absolutely no football knowledge is already talkin’ about ‘his sleepers.’

“That can only mean one thing: The fantasy football season hath returned.”

While we are still a few months away from action on the field, the prep behind the scenes in the clubhouses and around the NPIFL HQ is heating up. So Tom Lloyd felt it was a good time to reflect not just on the NPIFL’s superstars and characters but also the very fabric of what makes the NPIFL so special:

“Now this here ain’t just a league. No sir. This here is a sacred congregation of bad decisions, blind confidence, and grown-a*s men lettin’ a 19-year-old wide receiver determine whether they have a good Sunday or not… Lewis.

“And before a single draft pick is made… Before somebody reaches three rounds too early for a rookie they saw once on TikTok. Before one of y’all says ‘I got a system this year’… Damen, I stand before you as commissioner to welcome you back to church.”

The league’s commissioner has his finger very much on the pulse of the modern day, as last season saw an influx of religiosity and a return to family values for many in the NPIFL community.

“Because right now? Right now, every team still looks pretty. Every strategy sounds smart. Ain’t nobody ruined their season yet.

“Hope is alive in this house. But the devil is a waitin’, oh yes he is.”

And where does the devil wait for us?

“He waits in the autodraft button. He waits in the third round panic pick. He waits in that one buddy who says, ‘I’m not really prepared this year,’ right before absolutely fleecin’ everybody. Isn’t that right, Jordan?”

Jordan’s Scary Team stands atop the pinnacle of glory once again after the most unlikely of scenarios. They won four of their last five games to sneak into the playoffs on points scored on the final day with an 8-7 record.

They then toppled the No. 1-seeded Brymbo Originals (actually twice in two weeks, HC Nathan Adams was heard shouting: “He can’t keep getting away with this!”) and then the No. 3 Padres to take their second Super Bowl in only three seasons in the league.

Commissioner Lloyd (who has been Leviathans HC since 2018 with only one playoff appearance and 0 postseason wins), spoke from the heart:

“And hear me now… this league will test a man. It’ll reveal character. Patience. Tegrity.
And whether or not somebody can survive losing by 0.4 points without posting twelve angry messages in the group chat at 1am. We are all looking at you Chriiiiiis.

“There will be glory this season. There will be betrayal. There will be waiver wire claims submitted in desperation after too many beers on a Tuesday night.

“And one among you… One among you is already destined to draft a quarterback far too early and defend it for months like a man fighting for his family name.”

As to who that will be remains to be seen, but with the new keeper settings, it does seem likely that this draft will be harder to navigate from the off for many. Perhaps it was with that in mind that Lloyd paused, looked to the heavens and smiled before saying:

“But today ain’t about losses. Today is about belief. The beautiful, dangerous belief that THIS might finally be your year.

“So pour yourselves a drink… Stretch them draft fingers… And prepare your hearts for the chaos ahead.

“May your sleepers rise up. May your stars stay healthy. And may the fantasy gods have mercy on the poor fool drafting from the turn.”

With nothing to lose but their dignity and everything to gain, it will be interesting to see how the 2026 NPIFL season pans out in only a few months’ time.