After a long offseason and a messy draft relocation, the NPIFL kicked off with a bang, or as was the case for many of the league’s managers, a whimper. Multiple managers around the league watched on in abject horror as their talismanic point-scorers dropped catches, fumbled the ball or were otherwise shut down.

Good news for one often spells disaster for another, and that was certainly the case in Week 1. Before we begin our roundup, let’s take a look at Nathan’s Pix and give out the Best Bench of the Week Award to its rightful owner.

Interestingly, Nathan started the season above .500 with his Pix, a record he never managed to reach in all 2024. Adams called four of the six matchups, and starts the season 4-2. However, he still has some work to do, as his all-time record is 45-51.

Meanwhile, Etienne My Trophy took home the Best Bench of the Week with a remarkable 86.02, which given his slam-dunk demolition of Dan’s (not so-) Daring Team, shows just how well HC Olly Bailey’s team has started the season.

Here’s the Week 1 roundup, starting with the best game of the week:

Santos ^(1-0) 152.96 – 120.98 St. Lewis Rams ^(0-1)

Santos fans were doubtless watching Friday Night Football unfold in shock, as WR1 Xavier Worthy was blasted out of the game on the opening play by teammate Travis Kelce. With the franchise’s WR room already arguably a little thin in places, this was not the start the team had hoped for.

However, the Rams failed to capitalize on their one man advantage, and St. Lewis never really got going in Week 1.

This was, however, touch and go up until late Sunday night, where a points bonanza in the Bills-Ravens game saw Santos explode like a firework across the autumnal, starry sky. 28.7 points from Derrick Henry’s 2TD and 169 yard day combined with a goliath 38.76 points from QB Josh Allen (4 total TDs, 394 YD passing, 30 YD rushing) doused any hope for St. Lewis.

Other honorable mentions in the Week 1 rivalry win were Alvin Kamara (1 TD, 12.7 points), Tucker Kraft (1 TD, 8.9 points) and Ernest Jones IV (8 TTs, 1 INT, 10.5 points).

Santos HC Chris Faulkner spoke with Andrasta after the win:

“What a tremendous win. We came, we saw and we clattered. It could have gone wrong for us after Xavier’s unfortunate collision early in the game week. However, we’re fortunate to possess some serious firepower and Lewis’ team simply wilted like the poor bloomers they are.

“This week we’ll assess and have hit the waivers to strengthen. We’re here to go on another play-off run.”

As for the Rams, they got off to a great start on Thursday night, as Jalen Hurts was on the rushing rampage with 62 yards and 2 TDs on the ground. He finished the night with 24.28 points, but that was the high water mark for St. Lewis.

A decent receiving day for Aaron Jones (44 yards, 1 TD) papered over a bad day rushing (23 yards), and the Vikings RB came away with a respectable 14.2 points.

De’Von Achane was one of the few Miami players to escape the humbling in Indianopolis with a good score, and his 16 points from 55 yards rushing, 20 receiving and 1 TD made him the second-highest scorer for St. Lewis.

A good outing from Texans DL Byron Young (9 TTs, 1 SCK, 10 points) saw him become the only other player to break 10 points in a forgettable Week 1 for the Rams.

St. Lewis HC Lewis Done shared his thoughts with the assembled media on Tuesday:

“What a great way to start the season; loved it. Apart from the Thursday night game and having to play against Henry and Allen it was great.

“Great to be back; next week we’ll be better at throwing, catching and running. Maybe even kicking.”

Done then went on one of his more predictable tangents, where he again accused the NPIFL of corruption, which has been noticed to be his rallying cry after a defeat (this season the draft appears to be his focus).

Looking ahead, Week 2 sees the Rams host the 1-0 Brymbo O’s, while Santos prepares a welcome party for a San Wrexham 69ers team in need of a bounce back after a rough opening game.

E.M.T. ^(1-0) 149.04 – 111.32 Dan’s Daring Team ^(0-1)

Etienne My Trophy started the season hot, and while many (Andrasta included) would have warned HC Olly Bailey about the dangers of stacking a WR and RB from the same team, Bailey once again showed himself a pioneer in stacking success.

After stacking QB and RB every week in 2024 to great success (Jackson & Henry), EMT saw both Bucky Irving and Emeka Egbuka find the endzone, with the rookie WR scoring 2 TDs on the day for 21.6 yards.

A bad day for QB Bo Nix was easily papered over by a good performances from not just Egbuka, but also rookie TE Tyler Warren (11.4), Rams WR Puka Nacua (130 YDs, 18.1 points), Texans K Ka’imi Fairbairn (15) and 49ers DE Nick Bosa (14 points).

Bailey’s bench also went big, recording 86.02 points combined, as Rome Odunze (12.7), Garrett Wilson (19) and Keon Coleman (21.2) made an effort to prove themselves worthy of a starting role.

Meanwhile, there’s not a lot to say about Dan’s Daring Team, other than that the only daring thing about them has been their complete lack of activity since a wobbly draft. HC Dan Gittins made his traditional sloth-like start to adjusting his lineup, but this year he hasn’t quite moved along the branch enough to make any much-needed changes.

Gittins has only won once on opening day, and that was back in 2022. Gittins’ teams have lost every other year since entering the league in 2019 in what has become something of a charitable NPIFL tradition, and fans weren’t expecting much ahead of opening week. Those fans still came away disappointed in Week 1.

The DDT fielded a late-scratch in Jaydon Blue, and still has 2 DSTs and 2 Ks on a roster glaringly lacking in skill position depth. While Kyler Murray (18.32), Ashton Jeanty (11), Kyren Williams (13.4), Amon-Ra St. Brown (7.5), Mike Evans (7.6) and Mark Andrews (1) might be enough to win some games, the lack of bench firepower has been said to scream gross negligence.

With racous boos and chants of “sell the team” ringing out already in Week 1, this could be a very long season for Dan Gittins (or possibly a very short one).

Andrasta actually managed to get a rare response from Gittins, who again showed how on the ball he is in 2025. Gittins wanted to talk about his win on the former, now-defunct platform instead of the “new sh*t one,” as he put it.

Gittins’ unwilingness/inability to get with the program or set his lineup in the past 12 months has been called “disgraceful” by some around the league, and there is not a lot of hope around the franchsie that we will see much improvement soon. Sorry DDT fans, but this looks like yet another bottom-three finish for a team crying out for one piece they can’t find on waivers – a manager.

Dan’s Daring Team will limp into Week 2, where they host a Leviathans team thirsty for blood. While no match is easy in the NPIFL, Lloyds will be hoping for yet another no-show from HC Dan Gittins, who continues to limbo under a very low bar of expectations in 2025.

Meanwhile, Etienne My Trophy will travel down south to Portscatho to face bitter rivals, the Padres.

Brymbo O’s ^(1-0) 147.68 – 125.52 Kelce Smiles ^(0-1)

Fans of the Brymbo Originals were a little nervous ahead of Week 1, as the ghosts of 2024’s 0-5 start were still haunting the franchise. However, any such fears were banished with an emphatic win over Kelce Smiles, made all the more interesting by a complete lack of non-QB touchdowns in the team.

This was a very solid team performance from the O’s, who benefited hugely from 62 points scored by defenders. Add to that 11 points from kicker Brandon Aubrey and you have the foundations for a good week.

The main highlight for Brymbo was the return of RB Christian McCaffrey after an injury-ridden 2024 season. CMC’s name was heard on almost every offensive snap, and his 32 touches meant he came away with 19.2 points from 172 scrimmage yards.

Meanwhile, Kelce Smiles fans will have been pleased to see QB Patrick Mahomes running the ball like it was 2022, with the Chiefs QB putting together 57 yards and a TD on the ground in the defeat. His 26.02 points led the Smiles, and dominant days from their RBs almost set them up with a chance of winning.

James Cook (18.7) was among the beneficiaries of a high-scoring game in Buffalo, while Chuba Hubbard (16.4) owned the backfield in Carolina. Disappointing days from Drake London (9.5) and Jaylen Waddle (5) were the difference, and HC Christopher Ward might shake the flex spot up in Week 2.

Andrasta caught up with victorious HC Nathan Adams on Wednesday morning at Brymbo’s finest cafe, ‘Eat With Kev’:

“The first matchup of the season was a difficult one, Kelce smiles gave me some difficulty but we made it through with a little help from CMC.

“Looking forward to our next matchup, the Firestorm are p*ssios!”

Kelce Smiles HC Christopher Ward had no concerns after the loss and simply said:

“16 week season.”

Looking ahead, Week 2 sees the O’s travel to St. Lewis to face the Rams, while Kelce Smiles prepares for their first home game of the season, which comes against the aptly named, Jordan’s Scary Team.

J.S.T. ^(1-0) 148.72 – 122.46 Brymbo Firestorm ^(0-1)

The aforementioned aptly-named Jordan’s Scary Team lived up to its billing in Week 1. Andrasta felt this was a potential ‘start-strong, fade-down-the-stretch team,’ and JST certainly started strong.

A particular pleasure for fans was the performance of QB Justin Herbert (27.92), with the team set to benefit from good QB play after a rough season at the position in 2024. A blindingly bright spot was Bijan Robinson, who broke 100 yards receiving on his way to collecting a TD and 21.4 points.

Meanwhile, James Conner didn’t quite live up to the fears that Brymbo Firestorm HC had pregame. Conner put up a respectable 12.4 points in the win over New Orleans, but the Firestorm coach had been bracing for a 25+ points beatdown.

JST’s fascinating TE stack of Trey McBride (9.1) and George Kittle (10.5) looked very solid, and could have done a lot of damage if the 49ers star hadn’t been forced to leave the game early due to injury.

73.9 points on the bench and a good day from Marquise “Hollywood” Brown (14.9) might be the answer to any issues Kittle has in Week 2, and HC Jordan Clough was pleased with the win. He told Andrasta:

“I think the boys showed some real fight. Really pleased with some of the performances from the likes of Herbert and flowers, the research I put in before the season that led to me drafting these players has really payed off. Would like to see a bit more from AJ Brown next week though.”

While it would be easy to perform a full and extensive autopsy on the Firestorm’s lackluster weekend, it wouldn’t prove overly fruitful. To say they never got going was an understatement.

The matchups were certainly a factor, Jerome Ford (2), Ja’Marr Chase (3.6) and Tony Pollard (7.4) looked worrying in Week 1, and some dismal bench performances won’t improve the mood in Brymbo.

The Firestorm had to go without Eagles DT Jalen Carter due to a spitting incident, and the franchise will be looking for a total reset in Week 2. Only a big day from QB Lamar Jackson (29.36) made the Firestorm look semi-respectable and somewhat cover their blushes.

HC John Maxwell met with Andrasta beat reporter John Maxwell (no relation) at Firestorm HQ on Wednesday:

“Completely unacceptable start to finish. The players know my thoughts on it (the defeat), Carter knows my thoughts on that (the spitting), and we clearly have a lot of work to do. RB is obviously a greater concern than we had realized in the preseason, and we expect a lot more from Chase in the weeks ahead.”

The first of those weeks ahead will see the Firestorm again on hostile territory, this time away to the 1-0 Pats. Brymbo will look to bounce back fast or risk the ignomony of starting the season 0-2. Meanwhile, Jordan’s Scary team travels to face Kelce Smiles.

SW 69ers ^(0-1) 119.92 – 130.92 Portscatho Padres ^(1-0)

The San Wrexham 69ers came up short against the Portscatho Padres in the closest game of Week 1, mostly due to performance of Justin Fields. The Padres QB put up 29.52 points from 3 total TDs (2 rushing) and 48 yards on the ground.

Other than Fields, the Padres looked solid but not exceptional. Chase Brown (12.1) and Jahmyr Gibbs (10) had mixed days, with Gibbs needing a TD to go big and Brown’s TD masking an otherwise disappointing day.

The same can be said for Travis Kelce, whose 38-yard TD helped him record 11.7 points on a night where he recorded only 2 catches from 4 targets.

The good news for Portscatho is that while an uncertain RB situation in Seattle sees Kenneth Walker and Zach Charbonnet splitting carries, Travis Etienne looks set for a bigger workload due to Tank Bigsby’s trade out of Jacksonville. Thus, the Padres could look a bit more dominant in the flex in Week 2.

HC Damen Griffiths spoke to reporters after the game:

“Yeah, it’s really important to get wins on the board early in the season. Our offense is still figuring things out but once it clicks, we’ve got a higher ceiling than most. A good win against what looks like one of the softer teams in the league, and one we can really kick on from.”

Meanwhile, San Wrexham were one of only two host teams to lose in Week 1, and will likely be putting much of the blame on WR Nico Collins, who put up a disappointing 4 points in the loss. A decent day by Jayden Daniels (20.12) wasn’t really backed up by anyone else, with only Breece Hall (15.5) putting up good numbers.

It feels likely that a team with as much firepower as San Wrexham will be bouncing back in due course, and better weeks are likely on the way. HC Chris Blockley pointed the finger at his WRs when speaking to Andrasta:

“Always a shameful day to lose to Damen, our wide receivers let us down, but a long way to go.”

Lloyds Leviathans ^(0-1) 97.28 – 146.52 Old England Pats ^(1-0)

The Old England Pats were quick off the mark in Week 1 and put in a very good team display. While QB Joe Burrow faltered against the Browns (8.82), the Pats’ six skill players all broke 10 points.

The Broncos D put up a huge 17 points against Tennessee, while Saquon Barkley (16.4) looks set for another big season. Marvin Harrison (15.6), Courtland Sutton (16.1) and Brock Bowers (13.8) were the main highlights and started the season strong, along with safety Kyle Hamilton (11.5) who recorded two sacks.

Old England didn’t get as much endzone activity as perhaps could be expected, and this team looks to have a very high ceiling in weeks when it does all click together.

On the other side of the ball, the Leviathans had a rough Week 1, putting up the league’s lowest score in the process. A good day from QB Baker Mayfield (22.58) wasn’t really backed up by much, and a lack of endzone activity saw the Levs fail to break 100 points.

CeeDee Lamb (14.5) and Josch Jacobs (13.5) had solid numbers, but both needed a TD to boost their scores and the chances of the team winning. It was just a rough day where nothing went right and the TDs went to other players, so Lloyds will be looking to chalk this one off and move on swiftly.

HC Tom Lloyd delivered a three-word message to the media which summed up his team’s performance:

“Just completely outplayed…”

Week 2 will see the Pats host the Firestorm, who will be looking to kickstart their season after a disappointing performance. Old England will be looking to pour cold water on any brning embers, and aim to start the campaign a perfect 2-0.

Meanwhile, the Leviathans look for immediate improvement, and they take on the 0-1 Dan’s Daring Team, who might even work out what app the league is on soon (after being told repeatedly for nearly two weeks to no avail).

If the Daring Team’s HC can finally stop crying about change and spouting wild conspiracy theories, they might stand a chance, but fans should probably not hold their breath. Top betting tip: take the Levs moneyline and expect them to cover the spread.